- Erotic Poetry
- Come Running
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Click hereAnd I may never lay eyes on you again
That's okay, can I just lay my hands
wherever they want to go?
Slide them up and down your back
further down, further down
I hear the sounds you make and it lets me know
maybe I know what I'm doing.
Trying to ruin your resolve to keep control.
It's no use, you're spiraling
Don't bother with resistance, there's no use fighting it.
I'll make you putty in my hands.
I'll make you come running simply because I can.
Simply because I can.
So sleep now while you have the opportunity.
The next time that you see me
I'll make you come running.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 13 years agothat some of the reviewers compare you to another poet. It is supposed to be about the poems, not the writer. I liked your poem. And gave it a 5.
tigerjenabout 13 years agoSweet and sensuous.....well done....would love to see more writing from you..... :)
fridayamabout 13 years ago--you have one good line then a cliche, and so on. There is tons of good stuff here, but it doesn't quite hang together, because the cliches get in the way. Please work at it a little more--it's worth it:)
bronzeageabout 13 years agoThe opening line gives a hint the subject is an observed stranger and the speaker keeps the fantasy to herself. The only clue to the sex of speaker is the author's name, which is never a reliable indicator. The "stranger" image is contradicted in L8, when she is "Trying to ruin your resolve to keep control." This is someone she knows, at least well enough to recognize his need for control. The poem takes a strange turn at L13, "So sleep now while you have the opportunity." The speaker is watching someone while they sleep. Is the subject sleeping on a bus or train? Perhaps a burglar has found someone in the house. The burglar would have more privacy. It adds a bizarre element to the fantasy.
