Confessions of a Cam Girl

Alone and unsure yet still trying things out
Painted and naked my ink hides my soul
The glare of the screen and hiss of the mic
Send me deeper into the abyss

"Show me your feet" and "Spread those legs"
Were such frequent phrases to hear
I hated them all so why did I pursue this?
Why would I let them all see?

I did as they asked for tokens and tips
But it wasn't really me that they saw
A slut in black lace and stilletto heels
A cheap whore to be used for their thrills

Who was I kidding? The thrill was for me
To know people liked what they saw
No matter how seedy, no matter how dirty
They all wanted me that was clear

Working the webcams all through the night
Gave me time to shut off my mind
From the daily grind, the drudging commute
And let me know what it was like to be wild

I won't meet anyone, I won't get involved
Thats what I always maintained
But time went by and things do change
And I became what I'd always despised

I got badly burned by a much younger man
Who had flattered me and turned me on
But he opened the gate to what lay dormant inside
A cheat and a whore and a woman

He didn't last long, a brief affair
Enough to send my life in a spiral
Leaving the world I was safe and secure in
I travelled and expanded my every horizon

No settling down, no becoming a bore
That was definitely not for me any more
Immersing myself in work and in play
I made my life over anew

I dabbled in bondage and the Domme scene
Men paid me to order them around
It was new and bold and even refreshing
To have power over strangers desires

Then he saw me there on the computer screen
Laid out for the whole world to see
I don't know why and I don't know how
But something felt different this time

I swore no more meets, I would not be "that" girl
Just once could be forgiven I reasoned
But something stirred every time I saw him
I knew it was more than just sex

He pursued his quest of meeting me personally
And eventually I let him win
Agreeing a time and a place we made our plans
It seemed unlikely that this would go far

A warm autumn night and a vanilla date
Onlookers would have thought we were "normal"
There were sparks flying so high that we almost caught fire
Yet still he asked before leaning in for a kiss

Then that was it, our lives were entwined
From that very moment on
We knew it was real from the second we touched
Our bodies and souls became one

To cut a long story right down to the bones
We remain in love to this very day
Our family is a testament to our love
Which began in the darkest of ways.