Confessions...Wanting the Unknown

Confessions ......Wanting the Unknown
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I've grown tired of lies, of secrets, and denying.
Of a life lived in falsehoods, pretexts, and lying.
Most nights I go without sleep; I lie restless and crying.
People's thoughts play in my mind; most labeling, hypocritical, and prying.
I'm existing, not living; without harmony or love in my soul.
I'm a sum of my parts, but never feeling quite whole.
I'm submissive not in life, but in my being and soul;
Only now seeing how painfully boundless it is in its' toll.
I will never declare or confess my true feeling;
My body and my heart will go without healing.
Alone through my life I must stroll,
Never having the love or the knowledge of being in One's control.
A Master is what I seek. I beg and hope for.
I can't wish, ask, or want from life very much more.
A hand to control me, to allow me to be who I am,
A Master who will teach me, guide me, and include me in his plan.