Confronted by my Dreams

I’m confronted in my dreams, all that keeps me from my innocence
Am I to blame? Or should I just pretend I’m ignorant?
Flashing right before my eyes a truth I did not want to discover
Unfolding every misconception, oh how badly I was misguided!
Hold me down now, I know I enjoy your company.
I wish to learn, I wish to indulge;
In all the places I am not allowed to go
Please grant me this sin
A deviant pleasure where I would DIE to give in
To fall blissfully and selfishly
To this Submission
Where your Dominance is the only thing that feels right
If I try to explain it to those I love it may start a fight
I’m so misunderstood that it begins to FEEL GOOD
With no one to understand this syndrome
There is no one to help me
I will never get fixed and this feeling, it’s Warming
Something I can hold on to and never throw away
Something I can love that won’t leave me to decay
My mind is a place where I don’t allow others to go
Maybe I’ll let you inside if you promise to call it your own
We can hardwire our thoughts and our feelings to mesh
And you will understand how I got myself in such a mess!
Welcome to my mind a place where it is you, you will find
I wonder if I know you better then i know myself!
Does this frighten you? Or can you handle what has been dealt?
I feel your aura and I get the sense
That theirs something about you that keeps me feeling this tense!
Why do I wish to keep you in my life?
Perhaps I get the feeling you’ll keep the feeling of my father inside
The obedience I gave him the way I would behave
I miss the authority he had over me
Without him around I lost my backbone
Will I lose my mind now that I’m alone?
You’re the therapist what do you think?
Should I start using drugs so I can get advice from your kind of shrink?
I might be off putting and at times you may be afraid
But I’m just a little girl inside and since the death of my father; things just can’t be the same
The void I have that keeps me running
Not even my boyfriend can fill!
I feel so guilty when my “daddy issues” control me and
I fear; what if they always will?!
I know I’m not the only one with problems and if you knew me
You would be aware
That I’ve always put others first
And disregarded my feelings even when I’ve felt in despair
This is an awkward situation that I’ve tried very hard to hide
And it came out of nowhere I’m so sorry, but that’s life.