Consequences

“Do I deserve this torture and suffering?” is a question I have asked myself one too many times
I know God is not punishing me; he has more pressing matters- like world peace- to deal with

My childhood was a very delightful one, and I will owe none of my emotional baggage to my family or home life, which is quite rare

These problems, unfortunately, are caused by the cleverest and most dangerous of all, who knows me better than anyone ever will? Why, myself, of course

These days of sadness and strife are a result of my own actions, well, action really, and one action can do more good or harm than you know, which I know too well

One action can alienate you from you school and friends, and break family and blood ties that took years to strengthen
People still love you, but they do not necessarily like or respect you
You are just a blip on the screen of their lives
Another delinquent for the detention centers, another soul to be lost to the system
No one trusts you, being young and all, and no one expects anything less of you when you fail

In a moment of weakness and fear, you have no choice but open yourself up to others, stand naked and trembling before your demons, personal or otherwise

This is not written to frighten or dissuade you from trusting others; on the contrary, trust is a most delicate and beautiful feeling
But from experience, I have been forced to learn that I can wholly trust only myself
I have friends and family and love them dearly, but can only truly believe in my intentions and myself

One man can, indeed, be an island
Welcome to my island, an island of one
An island of a girl, accompanied only by shattered dreams, lost hopes, broken promises, and misplaced trust
An island of distorted images of dashing actors slightly too old for her, and of her lovely image in the future
A future of success, Love, safety, dedication, and purpose
A future darkened by deceit, shadowed by greed, and forgotten by fear

One action can crush what took years of tears and sweat to forge
One misunderstanding leads to a chain of hurtful words and scandalous lies
One error opens the door for the destruction of the only thing left in this world that was innocent and pure
One action can ravage
One action can poison
One action can do more than you know