- Non-Erotic Poetry
- crazy
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Click herein a crazy predictiment
in a situation i can't believe
i love this woman
i lust for this woman
and i know my heart was stolen away
caught up in the rapture
a whirl wind of disappointment
she said she would never hurt me
she promised to never leave
yet she did
but i was already gone
my life is spinning in control
i've been talking to my soul
she was bad for me
i never knew what to believe
some how i won when i thought i lost
in a crazy predictiment
i feel my self growing
i lost alot
but gained more
sometimes its not what you see
fell for the oldest tricks
because my mind was playing tricks
heart and mind was in diffrent places
but she will remember me
despite the diffrent faces
would you believe i'm a better man
sometimes things arent easy to understand
on my kness where i should have been first
lost alot gained alot
so here i still stand
- COMMENTS
LeBrozabout 17 years agoQuite a load of emotions but the first two priorities on this are to run spell check then do a careful edit. There's too much wrong here and it distracts.
WickedEveabout 19 years agoI can understand this situation leading to the poem you shared. It can be very therapeutic to write. One suggestion I have is to focus all this emotional energy into other poems. Sometimes it can very difficult to write about an upsetting situation, but those emotions can be harnessed and used to produce some very powerful poetry.
Sander Roscoe Wolffabout 19 years agoDear RisingStar, Your poem is obviously heartfelt and sincere. That, alone, is wonderful. I also really liked how you took responsibility for your challenges and, in doing so, grew through them into a better place.
I felt, though, that it was a little halting, and didn't flow as nicely as it could have with just a little massaging. If you feel ready, don't hesitate to contact the Volunteer editors here. They can provide you with lots of help, guidence, and insight. I know I've benefitted from their help in the past.
Most importantly, keep writing. The more you write the easier it is.
My Erotic Tailabout 19 years agoand so open, simply a whole ...lot of good poetic lines in this poem, I enjoyed the read, thanks Art~
