Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click heremagnetic attraction
to drifting chimes
call my young mind
with a tinkly melody
a tug on Mum's arm
as I lead her toward
the brightly painted
and ornate ride
with pleading eyes
I look up from her waist
then turn to watch
the one I named Prancer
her mane splashed pink
a tail to match
she rides alone
amongst a rigid herd
two strong hands
they take my waist
raise me to Prancer's back
my pride of place
rise and descend
of saddled mares
with but a pole
to break my fall
Mum I spot
amongst the faces
waves with each turn
as the world passes by
now I stand as a face
in the crowd
watching two happy faces
and wave in return
It has the feel of young minds and short attention spans, filled with the excitement and wonder of the carousel.
for carousel horses..in my back yard beneath 6 feet of dirt!! no seriously, this is a good poem, especially these lines
she rides alone
amongst a rigid herd
but, in the final stanzas, you really overuse the word face and faces, it takes away from the rest of the poem, otherwise very enjoyable read :)
I like it, but I'd like it even better if you reworked a few of your line breaks. I think lengthening some of them would give it a smoother read.
...stuff, DM. Your poetry is blooming and showing a stronger feel all the time. Keep it coming!