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Click hereLooking up through the hazy fog of my mind
I can see the walls that I have built around the shattered remains of my heart
Standing tall like a sentry hand-picked for its unfeeling role
Unrelenting in his post to let anyone slip through unnoticed
I can feel the icy prick of loneliness slowly grab hold of my unsuspecting remains
Clenching me closer in its death-grip as if to remind me of its pivotal part
Cast by me when despair drove me to render myself untouchable
Even when stingy tears haunt me with the truth of my mistake.
Where I scream independence and solitude is my welcome companion
My heart bleeds the opposite, its truth seeping through the small cracks of my walls
Blatantly begging for someone to notice the plight of my solitude
And rescue me from this self-induced hell that I can’t escape on my own.
But then I seem to hear the faint rustling of someone breaking through
The tangled pattern of overgrown thorns and vines
That tease like a maze of old over crumbling walls
And hope ignites within me like an ember on dry wood
Did someone dare to push through the briars and thorny vines
That covered thickly the pathway to my heart?
Is there someone sure enough of what lay beyond these walls of mine
To tackle the barrier so carefully laid between us?
I find myself crawling closer to the foundation of my fear
Pressing a flushed cheek to its surface
As to see if I can hear the tell-tale scratch of his determination
To discover the treasure that lay waiting in store beyond this barrier.
Oh, to be found of worth and the object of his desire
That he would finally crumble these walls that I helplessly wish to finally fall
Exposing finally the girl that waits on baited breath
To be swallowed whole by a consuming passion beyond comprehension.
I find my own nails beginning to scratch and claw in frenzy
To help in his attack on the defenses that holds me captive
In hopes that maybe he will be the one that breaks through these crumbling walls
To lay claim to the wild beating of my heart that aches to be whole once again.
A prose poem that seems caught between poetry and prose. To succeed as poetry it needs trimming; it seems to ramble on and on. For prose, it needs to be built up and tell a story more explicitly.
You really seem to focus on the
problems and demons that we all
have making your poetry so universal
and so easy to read and enjoy.
Great work!
Thanks.
~ Jenn
is thick and seemingly impervious, but also can be willingly receptive and weakened by the touch of that special person. And it will surely crumble and fall as its owner finds herself/himself falling, too... in love. This was a wonderfully penned work of your plea to allow the heart's wall to crumble, cyn. I did so enjoy - and understand - that emotion you poignantly described in this poem. Thank you. <smile>
Vixxx
Your stuff is so good cyn, kind of like slowly sucking on pineapple chunks!!
Wow....
Deep and so strong.
Gripping images.
Takes control, leads one down the road
to
*What now*
Loved this poem.