Date Night

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53 words
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False laughter
escaped from her lips
as I made lewd innuendo
Twitch of eyebrow
What did he say?
Huff of realization
Flashing slap of red
Glove returns backhand
no gentle tap
Champagne cool splash
drips from face
Woman stalks away
Smoke seems to drift
behind her
Another date goes
down in flames

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4 Comments
SweetOblivionSweetOblivionabout 11 years ago
Nice and precise

A good, tight poem capturing a moment - bravo. Sweet O.

HarryHillHarryHillabout 11 years agoAuthor
This was a post for the 5 senses thread

took so long to write decided to put it here too

twelveoonetwelveooneabout 11 years ago
starts nice

refreshing territory

not sure ending in cliche is best move here

5ed

probably saved by preceding

Smoke seems to drift

behind her

Ashesh9Ashesh9about 11 years ago
An accurate , real-time description of

A date gone wrong ! 5-ed.

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