Day by day

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78 words
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hottchic
hottchic
259 Followers

Tonight I relax and dream
Tomorrow I work, sweat streaming down my brow
On Tuesday maybe I am anxious and I fret
On Wednesday I venture out, presenting myself to the world

Tonight I am at peace
Tomorrow, my energy focused
On Tuesday the doubt creeps in
On Wednesday I throw caution to the wind

My life is like waves crashing on the shore
First peace, then endeavor, then uncertainty
Then abandon
And then, once again peace

hottchic
hottchic
259 Followers
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3 Comments
MichelleWhoIsMichelleWhoIsover 11 years ago

The best description of life

hottchichottchicalmost 13 years agoAuthor
Thanks for your feedback and rating twelve

You probably already guessed that I am just going to keep going at this until it starts to come good. Just keep giving me the feedback I appreciate that.

twelveoonetwelveoonealmost 13 years ago
OK

This is a good attempt at a structure, rather nice, if you had gathered all your abstractions, and worded them a little different in the 2nd stanza, I think it would have been a little more forgivable. Go back and read what Senna said. Here is my pet peeve, the cliche:

"My life is like waves crashing on the shore"

Ask yourself, how do I make this more interesting?

I gave you a five, still new writer, don't make me regret it.