Dead Man Floating

I woke up one morning to find a dead man floating in my swimming pool.
He was face down and wearing a brown suit
My wife called the police, who when they arrived immediately put me in handcuffs.
Of course I protested but it was not until my Chinese neighbor arrived who somehow straightened things out. I couldn’t understand a word he said.
By now they had fished the body out and it lay face up on the cement, partially obscuring the colored flag stone insets.
As a result, the attention again focused on me.
The dead man’s face, albeit swollen, was a doppelganger for my own
“Did I know him, was he related to me?”asked the cop.
I joked, “maybe it’s my twin brother who disappeared long ago.”
My wife still in her red nightgown looked on disapprovingly.
My Armenian neighbor’s wife arrived just in time.
Several years ago she had seen me in the company of what she politely called “a lady of the night.”
I had assured her that it was not me but that I did have a twin brother with an enormously bad reputation.
“He does have a brother,” she testified on my behalf.
I said nothing.
At this same moment the coroner had arrived and was busy unbuttoning the dead man’s wet shirt. “This ain’t no man, the stiff’s got tits.” as a wet fleshy breast slid into the view.”
“You got a twin sister?” the detective asked.
“Fraternal or identical?,” I answered.
“You being a wise guy,” the cop said. “You want the cuffs back on?”
“I have no idea who the lady is,” I answered, hoping this would put an end to it.

Three days later, the police still did not know the identity of the corpse
but they arrested me and charged me with murder and negligence, it seems the pool fence was 4 inches too short for the current building code.
After my conviction my lawyer took the case on appeal and got the conviction thrown out on a technicality. It seems the corpse not only had tits but a cock as well, and the pool fence measurement were in conformity with the building code at the time it was built.