Dear Diary

Dear Diary

Today I leaned against an ancient oak tree,
The warm summer breeze, tantalized me,
Caressing me so tenderly, it made me smile.
I closed my eyes and allowed the feeling
To overwhelm me, as it hadn't for a long while.
My arms wrapped behind me against the tree gently,
My eyes closed, ears alert,
As I heard the leaves rustling gracefully.
My white summer dress plastered to my body
The material rising and falling so softly that
I felt one with the tree; arching my back against
The solid tree, making me arch sweetly, as a cat
Touching its cool hardness,
Causing my soft breasts to strain against the material
Of my white dress,
In arousal of the wind's caress.

Dear diary..
To some, it might seem silly,
But I needed to be one with nature
Today,
And bring forth my goodness
Pushing any negativity aside.
Moving away from the tree,
I spread out the blanket so that I may lie
Under the tree and enjoy the sun on my body
My dark silken hair gently flew around
My smooth face, tickling it playfully.
I placed my arms above my head
As I stretched out on the ground,
Feeling myself falling asleep outside,
The breezed touched my body in a way
That relaxed me yet made me sway
Gently like the graceful branches of a willow tree.

Dear diary,
I thought I was dreaming
When I felt a tickling on my tummy
Where one of the buttons to my dress had come undone.
Yet when I opened my eyes,
I was surprised
To see a blue butterfly sitting upon me.
I smiled at the tickling feeling.
Reaching down where the butterfly sat
I offered it my finger,
Coaxing it to sit upon it and linger.
Yet God's little creature decided
To fly up to my face and tickle my cheek with its wings so delicate
Before flying away into the beautiful red sunset.

Dear diary.
I felt so humbled that day
Lying on the ground on my soft blanket,
Embraced by nature's own healing
My body became one,
As I had a taste of God's beauty
Reminding me that I was still young.
I think I needed that reminder,
Because although my soul is old
My body and innocence was still new.
And if truth be told,
I needed to expel all this negative energy
That is sometimes a part of me; but not willingly.
I prefer my softness and this feeling
Of freedom that my ancient soul craves as much as breathing.

Dear diary
I have found myself again,
A beauty within myself
That I could never get at a boutique.
For what I speak of is who I am,
What God made me,
The wild, fiery but kind-hearted Monique.
That I sometimes lose when I am angry.
My tears fell today
That reminded me that's ok for me not to be perfect,
But on the other hand, not to neglect
Who I am as a woman that was created
To grow and spread her wings as a butterfly
That will never hide
Who she is: Monique
As God created me with his loving hands
Sometimes silly, sometimes too serious, but always unique.

Dear Diary.
As I rested under the tree
On my soft red blanket,
I ran my hands down my body
Feeling scars and imperfections,
But also feeling warmth and softness.
I smiled softly, as a single tear
Ran down my smooth young face.
Bringing forth my soft nature with just an equal trace
Realizing that although I have scars on a part of me,
I have had two miracles come from my little tummy.

Dear Diary
I realized also, that although I hate being angry
It's part of me
As are all my qualities and flaws.
And to my knowledge, there are no God's laws
Where it says I have to hide my flaws from anyone,
But to just be myself and never run
And shut the door
To my soul. I have accepted me,
Completely.
I smiled at that moment,
No longer in torment.
I closed my eyes and allowed the summer breeze to envelop me once more.