Deeper

It would be a lie to say that I don't enjoy my
salacious memories of you.
Especially when they unexpectedly pop into my head.
What I miss the most about you is your sense of humor.
That sarcastic, twisted wit you have.
You could always make me smile, no matter what.

It's hard to talk to you for 2 years every day and then stop.
You see things your way but you don't understand.
You can't even see that you hurt people and I can think of
three, four, if you count me.
That's the part that hurts me so much.
I really thought you were capable of caring about someone
other than yourself. I wanted to believe that you were different
than your worthless brother.
But you were just more polished about it.
Now I question everything you said.

But that's not the part that gets to me.
Anger fades over time and I don't think we should be
interacting anyway.
It's not good for me.
The part that dives under my skin is I can't block
you out of my thoughts.
Songs, expressions, places...they all take me back...
and now to that list I can add weather...
I wonder which one of us regrets it more.
I think I have you beat.
I wish you'd never touched me.

I thought your predecessor ruined me but I was incorrect.
He destroyed my trust and you walked away with the key to my body.
I don't even try anymore.
I know that any attempt on my part to replace the rippling
orgasms you gave me will be futile.
So, I suppose I should say thank you for making my
body come alive like you did.
I won't ever be the same.