delusional?

I might actually be crazy
no like crazy crazy
and not like how I thought crazy
like not crazy because of what I believed
but like crazy because of what I didn’t
why does my mind have such trouble with the truth
Denial. it’s funny I was thinking about denial earlier
about how knowing the specific brain disorder
my close relative has
now explains why unfortunate digestive system updates
were brought up in normal conversation
at the time we reacted in amused horror
but now it’s like
Oh, duh. Not crazy, like, uh “weeeird” but like
actually crazy, literal mind loss.
And well shit
while I didn’t think it up at the beginning of this
I just reread the first portion and I said I might be crazy
I didn’t mean I’m losing my mind
though now I’m a little paranoid
but I did mean that…my thoughts
and reality
don’t line up
and I also meant that it’s in the opposite way
of what I keep thinking
so not that it’s not real
but that it’s so real it’s crazy that I could have not believed
it’s like
hmmmmmmmm
delusional?