- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Destiny
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Click hereI had envisioned dust,
a layer of age to everything.
Not dampness, walls wiped down
with the same stagnant water
that pooled on the floor;
a scent of mildew hovering
about the unmoving air.
Expectations are often
pleasantly dismantled.
The three of them don't
notice as they go about
another day's work. I step in,
fascinated at how the cotton
thread is spun out, drawn to
a seemingly random length as
it is worked into the weave,
then snipped with a sudden,
silent working of such heavy
shears that I forget myself.
Forget my role as petitioner,
stepping back into the voyeur I
have always been in the past,
one hand idly stroking the slick
varnished frame of the loom,
lost in the quiet beauty,
tongue brushing the salty remnants
of a single tear along my lips,
When you see the whole of the
pattern, the thought of making
a snarl or forcing a reworking of
even the least piece seems like
nothing so much as heresy.
- COMMENTS
Cleardaynowabout 10 years agoThank you
I have just made reference to this poem while commenting on my own poem ‘Spiced Lamb with Unleavened Bread’ and thought it would be rude not to comment here directly as well. I commented that “I thought Destiny and the devices used were excellent. However, the Web of the Norns is not now an integral part of our culture and thinking. Therefore the impact was purely intellectual & it needed something additional to give it depth and bite. I thought of commenting this & suggesting the crucifixion would be more powerful – but decided to write about it myself instead.”
I certainly do think your poem is excellent.
Many thanks for your inspiration & I hope you are not too embarrassed by what it gave rise to.
KillerWithWordsabout 10 years agoYour lustrous description is what got me interested most with your wording. You almost cast sensation onto me (the viewer). Nicely done.
Neonuroticabout 10 years agoI don't have anything to add other then that I liked the poem. Definite 5.
buttersabout 10 years ago*posting this here as it said what i wanted to say*
what i really like best is how you show that voyeuristic thing so often felt (i suspect) by most poets ... the outsider observing, considering, weighing and using.
you made me feel this one, taste it, experience the 'slick varnished wood'... i particularly liked that word-choice, because it links in with the other connotations of voyeurism and has a solidity (along with the heavy shears) that contrasts beautifully with the qualities of the thread so delicate, so . . . yeah. i liked
GuiltyPleasureabout 10 years agothis flows so smoothly and presents images, invokes emotions unexpectedly. Masterful! I love the slow, side-ways build, this.....
"....it is worked into the weave,
then snipped with a sudden,
silent working of such heavy
shears that I forget myself...." is particularly good.
