Diane

The decision wasn’t mine to make
So I can’t say I let her
She said that I was good for her—
She’d just found someone better

She and I still keep in touch
Even though she’s my ex
I guess I’m still her favorite person
Of the other sex

I don’t really think it’s weird
And I wouldn’t say she’s gay
I think what it comes down to is
She’s just comfortable either way

So she used to be with me
But now she’s with Diane
Diane’s just better suited to her
Than any given man:

She doesn’t leave the toilet seat up
And she picks up on non-verbal cues
She knows what to expect during PMS
And they both like to shop for shoes

And Diane is smart and witty
And her hair is always great
To be completely honest
I’d have interest, if she were straight

I have to admit, I miss her
But I’m glad that they’re together
Maybe I can rebound
With Diane’s ex-girlfriend, Heather