Non-Erotic PoetryDid You Come Here Just to Look?He says he loves me
and I echo it back like a good little bird:
I love you,
I love you
like vinegar in my mouth
And you clatter against the side of my cage
You
with your cool comprehension
of everything
that sickens and torments me,
and your lusting
Will you leave me in here -
even though I'm so pretty?
Sad and pretty
and senselessly repeating
I love you,
I love you
like vinegar in my mouth.
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NakedHeartGirl, rahuli favorited this poem!
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Yes , indeed yesterday i came just to look @ New Poems ....but today your
Intriguin' title drew me back to your Poem ! The comparision & contrast of a woman with a caged bird is very apt & even though in plays , novels & movies this idea has been oft-publicized your treatment if same in this poem ( to borrow from GM) in this Lyrical poem definitely deserves a high-5 !!more...
I liked how you switched from the third person(he) in the first stanza to the second person(you) for the rest of the poem. It gives the impression you're so mad you're talking to yourself at first, subtle perhaps, but effective.more...
Very good
Compelling presentation of a Point Of View. This skewers something pretty awful both in the protagonist and the ‘man’. You can sort of feel his incomprehension at finding out how she actually feels.more...
NIcely done.
Very compelling imagery and effective use of line length to punctuate the poem.
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