Dingy Blue Flowers

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139 words
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On a fall morning, the woods are her playground.
Too young to work, too old to be looked after,
She wanders off alone -
Knobby knees visable below the hem of her dress.

Her dress, made by her mother years before,
Became stained as time wore on,
Light blue flowers seemed dingy, no longer bright.
Worn thin by years of wear.

A rabbit hops by, startling her.
Surprised, she cries out.
Seeing it, a slow smile begins to form on her young lips.
Cradling it in her arms, she befriends it.

Light gray eyes of the girl look into
Dark brown ones of the rabbit, hurt;
Similar yet different.
Together, they wander alone.

Returning, mud streaks her scrawny calves.
Tears flow from her light eyes down her pale cheeks.
Returning, she's alone.
In her short life, so much tragedy.

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6 Comments
quietpolyquietpolyalmost 20 years ago
amazing

Story-telling skills are excellent.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 20 years ago
Just

wonderful. The words carried me back...and back...thank you.

YDDYDDalmost 20 years ago
Faded Flowers

A poignant tale of childhood.

I think the poem might be improved by reducing some redundancy

(i.e. "years before", "time wore on", "years of wear")

and amplifying some other areas,

like what happened to the rabbit,

and why did it let her cuddle it?

A good start and display of "showing" and "evoking".

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 20 years ago
Sad tale...

nicely told. Thank you.

thegirlfriday11thegirlfriday11almost 20 years ago
wonderful

i love this poem!!!

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