Dirty Old Man

Yeah, I put the dirty, in dirty old man
I bring a red blush to that redneck tan
I'll drive you to it
Bring it home and mix it
I'll be the bag and you're the trashcan

I've got some years to my schooling
But Lord, whom am I fooling?
Your mental disability
Proves my sensibility
Take it easy? I like it grueling

Ain't got no champagne glass
A red picnic cup suits your ass
Spin the '72 Ford truck
And by a stroke of luck
We won't spill the vodka on the grass

You're the one who took my virginity
Who later provided me with the trinity
Through the happy and the mad
Learning not to stay sad
Bad fades to good into infinity

You've given me ONE GREY HAIR
At twenty-one that hardly seems fair
I'll love you to death
And will feel your last breath
Arranged marriage in the next somewhere

You say it's all got to do with money
And for you reality seems to be funny
'Cause there's a burr in your boot
Your life took the wrong ruite
And now you're learning where to find honey

College guys are hotter than you
Profs have degrees and are smarter than you
So I try to fit in
Don't know where to begin
Only you know what I've been through

Old man, I don't need a Sugar Daddy
I don't mind being in the gutter, getting muddy
I'll give you what I've got
Throw out the vodka you bought
Lock the door on your past you tomnoddy

Telling me to look for someone new
You call me a fool for hanging around you
But I've got a plan
For my dirty old man
So to logic I'll bid adieu

When I see something I want, I attain it
They don't know me here, but I won't quit
I've fallen in love
With all of the above
To hell with the rest, you've earned it