Don’t Tangle with Henry Hank or his dog Bangle

Henry Hank had a funny name
Rather duopolistic as both names were the same
He wore a dirty wife beater and sat on the stoop
A can of beer in his hand and an ass filled with poop
He’d lift up a cheek and let go a fart
Then look around as if he were smart
“What the hell was that?” he would snort
Then underneath him would come another nasty report

Marry McDougal was old Hank’s wife
She hardly ever left their basement apartment
She had no life, except for cooking and cleaning
Up after Hank, no matter how hard she tried
The whole place just stank, not just Hank
He was matted and tangled Hank never bathed him
Or combed out his mats
Yet that old dog sat near him watch’en for rats

If that hound wandered off on his own
There was no call on the phone
There was no reward
If you found him and dragged him
All the way home on a cord
Hank would just grunt, “Yeah he’s mine,”
Rarely “thanks,” then on time
He’d lift his left cheek and fart so sublime
That you’d think it was an earthquake
Or a dynamite shot, then Hank would sneeze
And you’d be covered in snot

One lovely day an old rancid garbage truck stopped
On the corner where Hank’s can was plopped
The cans were overflowing with trash, fish heads and fruit
So rotten that stash, that Joe the trash driver got out to see
“Dis trash,” he announced, “got to be bagged real hygienic
Otherwise it could start a real bad epidemic”
Then he heard something nasty and looked up to see
Hank lifting his ass cheek for the new company

Well Joe and Hank got into it that morning
It was early and no one could see the warning
There were loud screams and nasty noises of fight’en
Some yelps and barks, there must’s been bitt’en
And at the end of about fifteen someone picked up the cans
And drove away clean, we didn’t see Joe again out there
They got a new driver with long curly hair
He wore a fish net and had an earring’ a dangle
And a sign right on the dashboard that said
“Don’t tangle with Henry Hank or his dog Bangle”

Otherwise every things bout the same
That part of the block ain’t changed its name
And old Henry Hank and his dog Bangle
Sit there on the stoop watch’en the angle
As the gals, men and boys march past every day
And twice a week they take the garbage away
The doc told Hank to lighten up on the beer
But Hanks says the hard stuff don’t give him no cheer
So he’s still got a can, now it light beer by the bin
But of Joe the truck driver, we ain’t seen hide nor hair of him