Doomed Youth

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48 words
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starrkers
starrkers
63 Followers

A poppy or a paper crane
A pretty thing
A pleasant sight
To hide the bitter past

No trench line nor atomic bomb
No sombre truth
No ugly shame
Upon remembrance hour

A picnic and a holiday
A lesson lost
Lest we forget?
The warning goes unheard

starrkers
starrkers
63 Followers
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  • COMMENTS
7 Comments
KOLKOREKOLKOREabout 15 years ago
Count me among those who were touched

Count me among those who were touched; touched and moved by your memorial poem. I don't know if you have to be one of the unlucky-lucky ones who came from similar places to be touched that way. I would not necessarily presume so. But the fact is that I have. It just happens to be a personal fact. Just a fact. The touch which moved me felt more like a burn. Obviously not that pleasnnt, mostly pain I guess. But With the reference to beauty to lives (even lost), I can look around somewhat more alive, perhaps at this moment I remeber more what I still have.

oggbashanoggbashanabout 16 years ago
Reminder

Though short, this poem reminded me of so many things I shouldn't forget. (Including the Anzacs sacrificed at Gallipoli)

Og

jomarjomarover 16 years ago
Very nice.

Not sure why my comment didn't post earlier. Have you heard "Thousand Cranes" by Hiroshima on their "East" CD? Very moving, like your poem.

Varian PVarian Pover 16 years ago
a dense, provocative piece

With simple language you succeed in conveying a lot, because your images so perfectly draw on intense, complex, and immediately-accessible human experience.

drksideofthemoondrksideofthemoonover 16 years ago
Short...

The beauty of poetry is that so much can be said in so few words. This is what you have accomplished with your poem. To me, it was a very moving, and sobering piece of work, and reminded me a bit of "In Flanders Field".

Well done.

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