doorways

one

i'm home
alone
cleaning
doing chores
uneventful
another day - but lovely
the sun is out and the sky is clear
warm but not hot
shorts weather
drinking coffee with my feet up and the doorbell sounds
i open the door and there is no one there
i look across the street and down the block in both directions
and there is no one
i am alone
but
there is a wooden box at my doorstep
it's lovely
smooth like alabaster
but wood
crafted perfectly
like by an ancient artisan who has honed his craft over a lifetime
no seams are visible but there is a top
it comes off
and inside
it is lined with velvet
red
shocking red against the green of the grass and the blue of the sky and the brown of my life
and against the shocking red
is a card
perfect again
and i open it as i go inside
inside
because this is too much
too secret
this - i know is not for the world to see
inside where i can be alone with this exquisite box and the card from no one
and inside i clear the table
so the box is alone
alone with me
and i open it again
and the card is there and i open it
the card reads....
midnight tonight
only that
and i flip it over
and there is only one word...
submit

two

the time draws nearer
all day i wonder who
who sent this?
i have suspicions
i wonder
what is it?
i wonder what the future will hold
as i clean and busy myself with my daily tasks so i don't have to wonder
yet i only wonder more
and my imagination runs on and on
and the time draws nearer and i'm at a loss
what do i wear?
to submit?
do i go?
to submit...
i don't want to admit it, but i'm so curious
but
it's real
and i'm nervous
i want to...
i don't know
what do i want?
and the time draws nearer
and the sun dips in the sky
and i wonder
and i wonder
and this is worse than anything that could happen
so i dress casually and neatly like for job interview
but this will be no interview
the note said submit
submit
to whom?
how?
my heart pounds in my chest
make up?
i'm so nervous
i slip into nice panties
and look at myself in the mirror
god and i doing this?
am i really going to go
i change the panties to my t-top g-strings
and my bra
the nice one that give me cleavage
i slip on my dress and head to the window
and the time draws near
and nearer
and then the phone rings
i cross the room to answer it
hello
nothing
my heart pounds
click
silence
and there is a knock at the door
this is real
my legs tremble as i cross the room to my door
am i doing this
in a way, am i already submitting?
is this enough?
my heart pounds and my breath is short
i stop with my hand on the knob to control my breath
to slow my heart
and i open the door
a chauffeur stands there
neatly dressed
professional
i'm here to escort you ma'am
of course
my voice cracks as i say it so i repeat it
of course
the man goes to the curb as i lock the door behind me
he opens the door to his limo
black and long
luxurious
for me?
i think and chuckle to myself
as i get to the car, he removed a small wooden box from his coat and gives it to me
i go to get in and he stops me
no ma'am, you must open it now
so i do
it's the same box maker as before
clearly
it's beautiful and seamless
thin as a wallet and light
i pop it open and inside there is a blindfold
i look at the driver and ask if i must wear it
he explains
you're not to know where we i take you
will i be hurt?
i've told you all i'm allowed
and so....
i bind my eyes
and i enter the car
the door closes
the motor hums
and we start to move
and i'm no longer wondering as i was
i'm strangely calm
trusting
safe
i feel now that i have already done what the letter told me to do
submit
but
there is that sense of nervous....
excitement
and wonder
yes wonder
of what lay ahead

three

the ride is smooth
languid maybe
if a car ride can be languid
i think that it's a waste to be blindfolded in a car with all this room
isn't the point of the limo to be in a car with all that space?
as quickly as i think this, the answer comes to me
the answer is in the blindfold
yes
the limo is a thing of opulent space
and the blindfold is there to deny it to me while at the same time i'm there in the space
and suddenly...
i'm a little nervous
i don't know where i'm going
and whoever has arranged this has thought this out completely
this experience
this night
the day
all of it
it's working itself into the core of me
affecting me at a deep psychological level
and even as i think this
i realize...
i'm thinking too much
and the smooth ride
the hum of the motor and the faint sound of the tires on the pavement and the slight vibration on the floor of the car
the motion
the movement
the going forward
it's all calming
and i flow with it
i relax myself with it
and i enjoy it
not just the ride
not just the luxury of the car
but
and almost more
the denial of it
and though nothing has happened
no pass has been made and the driver never looked at me or said anything to inspire this
i find myself getting turned on
the softness of the blindfold pressed cool and firm to my eyes
the darkness
completely enveloping
and the motion of the car
and then
after what must have been an hour of driving we stop
i hear the driver open his door and walk around to mine
he opens the door
i ask him
may i remove the blindfold now?
yes ma'am
so i do
and i see before me a mansion
looming in flickering torches in the moonless but star-lit night
cauldrons of flame line the stairs that sweep up to the main entrance
an enormous door of dark wood open enough to see the light inside
there is no one there
there is no music but for the wind - gentle and slight and cool
do i go in there?
yes ma'am
i step away from the car and onto the first step
the driver walks around to the driver's seat
gets in and drives away
and i'm completely alone
the lights of the limo disappear into the darkness of the night
and i look back at the house
and my heart starts again
but i've come this far
so i go
i move up the steps
past the flaming cauldrons
up to the door
and i peer in
hello?
hello!
nothing
i touch the door and i swings silently on its massive hinges
and
and i enter
i'm in a hall
and entrance lined on either side with rack after rack after rack of clothing and enormous mirrors spaced throughout
hello!
i'm here!
hello?
i call out as i walk forward looking at the outfits
they are extraordinary
not for any one singular outfit's extravagance
but for the fact that they are so wildly varied
all in my size
there is a wedding gown
a man's suit
a school girl outfit
a cheerleader's costume
jeans
leather
t-shirts from every band i ever heard of
shoes
oh
the shoes
from nine-west to new balance
i go to the end of the room and try the door
it won't open
i look back across the room towards the door i came though
and it has closed
i never heard it move or sensed it at all
yet there it is
closed
and i try the door again
nothing
the clothes are for me
i know it
so i take a deep breath and pick something out
it's black and long and stretchy
not tight
but it fits like paint
and it is tight around my neck
holding my breasts tight
no bra
because the back plunges down below the small of my back
and i look at myself in the mirror
and i know
i know how hot i look
the dress drags out on the floor behind me as i move
and
and i love it
i go to the door and try it again
closed
but i know why this time
there is still something i've not shed
my panties
i slip them off under my dress
i touch the door
and it opens
it opens to a room that takes my breath away
round
perfectly round with perfectly identical doors all around it
with a ceiling too high to be seen in the light given off by the thousand candles that light this room
and in the center of the room is
a wooden box
i go to it and as i open it i hear something behind me
and
the door has closed
i spin around
alone
with a new note in my hand
lost
alone
in a room of doors
and the note reads:
choose
i flip it over:
submit

four

i spin around
enjoying
yes enjoying the dress dragging behind me
feeling its slight tug at my hips when i move as it slips along the floor behind me
this distracts me from my previous thought
submit?
again
submit
to what?
to whom?
what is this?
and again the dress pulls at my body as i move and pace and think
and then i pace more
now to feel the dress
and feel its tightness
i'm not being hurt
no one has threatened me
i feel safe
confused
but confused like being one drink past where i should be
yet not drunk at all
lost in the moment
and living each moment from feeling to feeling
i look down at the dress as it pulls taunt against my thighs as i move
i think about how my ass must look
and i walk the length of the room enjoying the image in my mind of
me
and i turn and walk back
avoiding the doors
knowing i'm avoiding the doors
and as soon as i'm aware of the truth of what i'm doing
i stop
and again
i feel my heart beating
all the doors are the same
but i go to one and listen
nothing betrays what may be on the other side
i test another
and clearly there is no way to know
but i try another and another
so
i go back to the center of the room and spin around with my eyes closed and my finger pointing
i stop pointing at a door
like all the others
except
this is the one
so
i walk
and now i'm not aware of the dress or anything other than the pounding in my breast
my heart thuds like mad as i touch the doorknob
and i hesitate
so long
so long
it only makes it worse
i take a deep breath
and turn the knob
there is no click
nothing but the silent swinging open
it is dark in there
and i can hear my heart in my ears
pounding
my god
am i doing this?
and before i can answer i'm walking
stepping
in
into the darkness
and the door closes behind me
and i'm in the dark
alone
but only for a moment
one last moment of being alone
hands
strong and firm
big hands close around my wrists
there is more than one person
men
the hands are too strong
not hard
but strong and firm
and the hold my wrists
who are you?
shhhhhh
is the response
and the lips are so close to my ear i can feel the breath of
this third man
shhhh
he says again
the hands hold my wrists
and i resist
shhhh
again the voice whispers in my ear
and in that moment fingers slip inside my dress
at my ribs
again
another man
the fingers are so strong
pulling at the dress
don't-
i say
but
shhhhhh
is the response
it's so dark
so dark
and the lips
the man hushing me
i think him
he's kissing my neck
wet and soft
while the fingers reach up my ribs and to the side of my breast
and it takes my breath away
this stranger these strangers touching me
the kissing lips at my neck undo the clasp at the nape of my neck
somehow
and i feel the dress falling
loosening on me
on my breasts
feeling the air rush in to my skin
while hands
more hands
god
is that possible
stroke my ankles
and gently
so gently like prince charming remove my shoes like glass slippers
and their fingers run up my legs and stop to lightly
so lightly stroke the skin behind my knee
but that is only one of them
but i love it
while the kisses on my neck continue
and the dress slips away f4rom my breasts
and my hands
god
i can't move my hands
they're holding my wrists
and i want
i want to move them
but i can't they are like iron
and
oh
oh
oh god
yes
the kisses on my neck
as the fingers trace under my breast
my left breast to my nipple
and stroke it
and the fingers at my legs don't stop
and they go
up
yes
and they both circle me
my sex
god
my pussy
they stroke my pubic hair
and my ass
the small of my back
and then the hand at my breast pinches my nipple
hard
too hard
i cry out
i want to cry out in pain
but what comes out is...
yes
and the dress is slipping to the floor
i'm barely aware of it
because the fingers at my pussy have found my clit
and they are taking turns
circling it
so lightly
so lightly and gently
it's maddening
and the pinch at my other nipple
yes
again
i cry
and the kissing mouth pulls my head around to his and takes my mouth
hot
in a kiss
and the fingers stroke my lips
i'm so wet
so
oh god
i can barely think as the fingers are in me
my pussy
my
yes
my
yes
and i'm sucking this man's tongue
kissing him
while the fingers work me
my hands
god
no
please let me go
let me hands free
but i can't
i want to
i want to touch these men
stroke their bodies
feel them
they are just fingers
and
oh god
now mouths
kissing me
now kissing my skin
the back of my thigh as the fingers press in me
and out of me
kissing
wet and soft on my belly
my breast
my tits
my ass
yes
their mouths and their tongues
oh
oh
oh on
yes
on
on my
yes
my
clit
oh
yes
my clit
kissing in
sucking it
nibbling
yes
nibbling
oh
oh
yes nibbling
and
and
a finger again
in me
in my ass now
slow
gentle
filling my ass
and again
i cry out
yes
and
oh
the mouths
oh
yes
yes
oh
the
oh
my ass
god
yes
i'm feeling myself
coming
so close
so close
so close
building
building
yes
yes
yes
and then
they stop

all at once
leaving me panting
gasping
alone
in the dark
they pull away
even my wrists are free
my body
almost limp
standing nude
so close
my whole body throbbing
alive with sex and so close
so
so close
i stand there panting
lost
disoriented
breathing
thinking not thinking being and thinking and trying to gather my-
my
self
thoughts
and i hear footsteps
coming closer
i catch my breath and a candle is lit
it is a woman
she's breathtakingly beautiful
the sight of her is almost enough to make me come
she's tall
fit
but not thin
wide hips
full breasts accentuated by her only article of clothing - a bustier
a bustier pressing her breasts up but not covering them at all
her hair is black and long and straight
her face round and soft
blue eyes
big eyes
full lips
she speaks
firmly
with an accent - swedish maybe - i can't place it
why are you here?
i answer
i.. i don't know
i was invited-
crack
the sound scares me more than the sting
at first
i've been spanked
hard
not by hand
a paddle
one of the men i guess - but i can't see them - they have receded to the shadows of the room
i try to catch my breath
she speaks again
i will ask one more time: why are you here?
my mind races
i try to think of the answer
i'm so nervous
my heart pounds-
smack
again
this time the sting is there
and i'm sore
it hurts
i can feel the blood rushing to the cheeks of my ass
slathered in kisses not two minutes ago - now sore and throbbing in pain
she speaks again
look at me
you will need to know the answer faster than that to avoid punishment
but for now
it will suffice as an answer to me to say:
to please you
i respond
okay
crack
again
and my heart jolts and i cry out
she steps towards me and puts a finger to my lips
shhhh
i will help you
shhhh
you are here to please me
and you will refer to me as ma'am
always
now
why are you here?
pounding heart and my pussy aching
and on the edge between coming and insanity
for despite myself and i have trouble admitting it
i have loved this
so i reply - quickly this time
to please you ma'am
and she kisses my lips
long and soft
she pulls away and says
then we may begin

to be continued…….