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Click hereAnd then we kissed
Revealed in our union, constant oceans of lace
Pouring into each and the other.
Open fields of alfalfa and Courtesan Thistle,
Baby's breath and avocado blossoms boiled for
Six hours gave us the cave paint of
Demi-god lovers, flirting with the acrobats
I'm so frightened, mommy. Did this happen to you?
Compassion is the well I drink from: Freebird
And then we kissed.
He smelled of soap made from Hectars root and honey suckle
We plunged into thenight, our naked bodys glimmering sweat in the starlight
I knelt in the sword ferns and guided his cock into my belly, curling my legs around his back like a black python as his breath filled out the sound of our heart beats
The forestbed was rough and calused with needles and frozen rot churning with milipedes and gnomes' eggs beneath us
Crack, premature seed pods began to open and sprout from the heat of our bodies. When my hair caught fire a thousand animal eyes lit up just beyond the clearing
Eyes that howled when I came
that pierced my open throat
as I shook and cried to the needles
This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 36,500 poems.
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All sorts of things to like here! Needs some more work. Still good, though!
You have some great thoughts, and I like the word choice. I think you should do some revising, but of course, it's up to you. The structure could needs some TLC, and you have a few typos that can be easily corrected. Just take your time before you submit. I've done the same so don't feel bad. :)
Thanks for sharing.