Down in the Leaves

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192 words
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And then we kissed
Revealed in our union, constant oceans of lace
Pouring into each and the other.
Open fields of alfalfa and Courtesan Thistle,
Baby's breath and avocado blossoms boiled for
Six hours gave us the cave paint of
Demi-god lovers, flirting with the acrobats
I'm so frightened, mommy. Did this happen to you?
Compassion is the well I drink from: Freebird

And then we kissed.
He smelled of soap made from Hectars root and honey suckle
We plunged into thenight, our naked bodys glimmering sweat in the starlight

I knelt in the sword ferns and guided his cock into my belly, curling my legs around his back like a black python as his breath filled out the sound of our heart beats
The forestbed was rough and calused with needles and frozen rot churning with milipedes and gnomes' eggs beneath us

Crack, premature seed pods began to open and sprout from the heat of our bodies. When my hair caught fire a thousand animal eyes lit up just beyond the clearing

Eyes that howled when I came
that pierced my open throat
as I shook and cried to the needles

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4 Comments
LeBrozLeBrozover 16 years ago
~~

This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 36,500 poems.

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WickedEveWickedEveover 18 years ago
milipedes and gnomes' eggs

All sorts of things to like here! Needs some more work. Still good, though!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
~

You have some great thoughts, and I like the word choice. I think you should do some revising, but of course, it's up to you. The structure could needs some TLC, and you have a few typos that can be easily corrected. Just take your time before you submit. I've done the same so don't feel bad. :)

Thanks for sharing.

twelveoonetwelveooneover 18 years ago
*

100 on strangeness alone, a few typos

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