- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Dreams vs. reality
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Click hereDreams vs. reality
Have you ever thought
what it would be like to be with me?
to take my hand and be lead to the dance floor
to tango and waltz away our lives to the rhythm of our hearts…
to never miss a step.
to feel each other from within
to be held on those cold nights and kissed in the morning
or caressed regularly?
I couldn't help but pass the thought through my mind
lingering briefly, though long enough to pause
and reflect a smile,
My mind takes me "there" with you sometimes…
And where is this place you might ask?
I am not sure, yet it is simply where we exist
as two friends on an ethereal plain
In this place I see a different side of you;
A side that allows us to be.
Each day I kiss your skin and enjoy your eyes
caress each muscle and kiss each ache
With each new day I invent new ways to make you smile;
new ways to display my care.
Each time our lips meet my soul is anxious
leaving me trembling;
With each gaze upon you
my heart accelerates
but never travels.
I have a place where I can make love to you from dusk till dawn;
Embracing you from morning till night,
Could a life like this ever appeal to you?
Each morning would be another excuse to thank the Goddess for you.
And as time passes by
it brings me closer to when I will see you.
But this is a fantasy
locked away in my mind
never to surface;
For timing is everything
and now is not the time,
The reality of our essence shows an alternate scenario;
This place is called here and now.
Yet foreign to me
in this place you are my friend;
I can't but still thank the Goddess for you,
I can still gaze into your eyes in my dreams
I still enjoy all the time we have spent.
Though the greatest thing about one existence or the other
is that no matter which one I see,
in my heart there will always be
You & I
- COMMENTS
My Erotic Trailover 18 years agoyou could change it a hundred ways and the meaning is still clear, excellent poem.
TheRainManover 18 years ago...this poem needs tightening. It also needs to be free of some repetitions and cliches.
Since he has offered to assist you privately, I won't get specific here, to avoid the "too much information" syndrome.
No vote left - I don't vote any more, don't understand the benefits of it. So, it's no refelction at all on the poem, or you.
Thermometer at 50% means - average, as to my opinion of the poem.
Keep posting, poet.
LeBrozover 18 years agoI can see several spots that could use polishing. Let me work on it a bit after I see what else has been posted today. I'll send you an e-mail with some thoughts. But quickly, I see one area needing work:
"EACH day I kiss your skin and enjoy your eyes
caress EACH muscle and kiss EACH ache
With EACH new day I invent new ways to make you smile;
new ways to display my care.
EACH time our lips meet my soul is anxious
leaving me trembling;
With EACH gaze upon you
my heart accelerates
but never travels."
When I see a word used so often I stop seeing the verse and start counting the word's frequency.
