Dying Inside

I’m dying inside and no one knows,
No one realizes how deep the pain goes.
No one can feel the hate in my soul,
No one will let me meet my goal.
I feel as if I’m worthless shit,
People treat me that way and I can’t take it.
Life could get worse and it probably will,
When I’m at my lowest, Puppet Master will move in for the kill.
I feel like my heart is breaking, why am I so sad?
People tell me life isn’t that bad.
They’re wrong, mine is.
All these hateful kids
Won’t let me be myself.
There is no light in the darkness of my Hell.
My spirit is dead,
I’m out of my head.
I’m just trying to live in this bastard world.
I’m not Hercules; I’m just a girl!
I can’t carry this weight on my shoulders,
I can’t survive the stoning with boulders.
I know I do dumb things, but I don’t know why.
I’m driven by an unseen force, I want to die.
I can’t hurt myself again,
I just want one true friend.
I can’t move on when the ones
I love have died,
I’ve cried and I’ve tried
To move on
When what I lived for is gone.
I miss my parents, I miss my drugs,
I miss the life I lived with thugs.
I miss the security of sporadity,
I miss my individuality.
I miss the days I wasn’t afraid to be me,
I miss myself, why can’t they see?
Why don’t they understand?
I’m doing what I can.
I’m worthless, this I know.
I just have to let it go.
No one wants a freak, a depressed girl,
And a geek.
You want to cast the first stone?
You’re not alone,
But I am……..