Echoes of my Father

Lately it seems
I am flooded with memories
each time I do the dishes

The glasses turned upside down
in a wooden cupboard
make a distinctive “clink”
when they hit bottom

My mother used to make that noise
when I would sleep on the couch
early Saturday mornings
after she’d left my father

There is also another sound
dishes clanking together
while I try to keep them quiet
as my son sleeps on the couch

This sound is of my father
lining up sleepy children in the night
smiling sickly as we wept
determined to teach us wrong from right

He’d make sure the lights were glaring
and the music would be blaring
his dilated eyes gleaming
when he’d throw up his arms and dance

Daddy turned demon
screaming in our faces
that we’d be sleeping now
if we hadn’t clanked those dishes

I wonder if he still hears those clanking dishes
the way I still see him dancing

It’s been decades since we left
but sometimes when I close my eyes
there he is
my demon
my daddy
dancing through my dreams