- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Empty Morning
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Hum of the heater,
the only sound now
to accompany me.
He's not here
to bend me at will
and see into me.
My brain is quiet
and for a second
I know other people.
They live without
others in their head,
just like this.
Days pass away
in quiet isolation
and distress returns.
I wait for his words
in unhappy demand
of my empty head.
Panic that those
were the last
of his words to me.
Waiting and breaking
against the fear that
this has finally ended.
Then it comes,
that day his thoughts
turn back to me.
- COMMENTS
echoes_sabout 20 years agothe title that threw off the poem...Empty Morning, but then in the poem you say "days pass away..."
then the last stanza says "Then it comes,
that day his thoughts
turn back to me. "
Is this the reflection of an Empty Morning? This confused me a bit. As Liar said...excellent two verses where you could have ended the poem right there and it go excellent with your title.
Liarabout 20 years agoVery good over all, but this part was just brilliant:
My brain is quiet
and for a second
I know other people.
They live without
others in their head,
just like this.
There's nothing wrong with the rest, but had you ended it right there, it would had gotten a 5 out of me.
Tathagataabout 20 years agoi know what you mean about waiting for the words.
your poem captures that anxiety and perhaps a bit of the resentment we feel at having become so dependent
really a great piece of writing
thank you
