- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Equivalence
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a quartz crystal,
bone white
under the crescent moon.
Show me a rock
exactly like this one.
Hand opens,
releasing the dragonfly.
The ancient smiles.
- COMMENTS
greenmountaineerabout 10 years agoI don't know what the criteria are for an "E" but originality certainly has to be one.
As usual, you pack a lot into a small space.
The syntax of the last 3 lines felt off when I first read the poem, but the more I thought about, it actually makes the poem better.
Cleardaynowabout 10 years agoVery nicely done but something of a cliche - hence somewhat light weight.
I have seen much better poems from you.
OpenFieldabout 10 years agoI am currently reading an interpretation of a series of poems that views them from a Buddhist perspective, so this poem was quite striking to me. I like the spare and simple exposition. I personally think it might be better without the last line, which seems superfluous, but an excellent read in any case.
