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Click hereKept in the back of the line
In sight of the barrel
A blast of smoke and blood will fly
The bullet enters and leaves me to die
Blood is leaving me
Hope is leaving you
The shooter flees the scene
And all they do is scream
I can feel it in my wound
The bullet flying through
Miss the head and tear my heart apart
It exits at the spine
And now this grave is mine
Blood coats their faces in red
Fear and doubt in their eyes
A scream of death and tears will fall
The bullet leaves me to see you all
As the light of the world fades
Pain is leaving me
Fear is inside you
Rain is falling like blood
Here you die, dearly beloved
Waking encased in light
See the angels take flight
They beckon me, they're calling me
Tears keep on falling even as I'm crawling
This floor towards the gates we strive for
I like this.
It has great potential as song lyrics and a killer title.
My only concern is this:
"Pain is leaving me
Fear is inside you
Rain is falling like blood
Here you die, dearly beloved"
If the point of view is being relayed by the one who was just shot, shouldn't it read
"Here I die"
perhaps
"Here I die, my dearly beloved"
And since you mentioned it was raining, why not
"Rain is falling like blood
Here I die, my dearly beloved
Face down in the mud"
Anyhoo ....... good job.