- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Family Album
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Alone she's a lachrymose teenager
With a pillowed Kodachrome photograph
Of Madeleine always four once again
Dressing a baby doll innocent white.
She fancies it a daguerreotype
Of alchemized silver bromide instead
From the Gilded Age that she dreams about
In Mr. Coppenrath's history class.
Bedeviled in black and white Spandex tights
Forever mercurial Madeleine
Positions herself by slow moving cars
After she puts to bed raggedy Ann.
- COMMENTS
greenmountaineerover 13 years agoAuthorAngeline: you may be right; I was looking for a softer dactyl to end the poem than "puts to bed," but as I re-read it, any difference in sound to me was minor; 12o1: definitely should have been "black as night" instead. The lack of a capital R in raggedy may have been a misguided attempt to give the teenager a proper name, while alluding to the doll. UYS: the reference was to the mother hailing down a "John" or perhaps a drug dealer. "Gothic" works quite well, Vee, even though I hadn't thought it.
I have mixed feelings about voting;doesn't seem to be a true barometer. Stopped doing it when Tzara sang praise once for 1 of my poems and within minutes an anonymous "1" was posted. Makes no difference to me; I'll activate it if that's what everyone else is doing.
vrosej10over 13 years agoI got goth chick from this. Kudos on the use of lachrymose. I am reminded on the verbal smarts of the people with which I am hanging when you can use that word and no one asks what it mean -- I am so stoked. Getting a recommend.
UnderYourSpellover 13 years agoVery thought provoking a girl not yet a woman still clinging to chilldish things, is she positioning herself by the slow moving cars for the reason I am imagining or am I reading that wrong?
Angelineover 13 years agostrong images that present a very clear picture. I love when a poem is all show and no tell. Only picky point is in last line: I would've said "puts raggedy Ann to bed" but maybe I'm not reading/understanding it correctly. Really enjoyed this read. Thank you for it.
twelveooneover 13 years agoFunky, liked alot, two not sures; white, and non cap for raggedy.I can see what you are doing with both, in the case of Raggedy Ann, it will be there anyway, by the non cap, it becomes a pointer, too oblivious, and you lose the ref.
How come score is turned off? Anyway, true 100.
