findings

Years pass
Lost in the fog of my own naiveté
I wander aimlessly
Filled with a cool longing for life
I pass through
Occasionally stopping
Wondering at the pretty colors
Temptations
The warm, heat filled objects
Each vice
Promising wonderful things
Reaching out
Touching them
Letting them warm my finger tips
But never allowing them
To ignite my soul
Instead
Once slightly warmed
I move back
Into my cool innocence
Before the heat can take root
Before the flames can consume me
Alone I wander
Thinking I want for nothing
Believing nothing can move me
As I throw myself
Into the path of temptation
Over and over and over
To walk through unscathed
Learning to be less then human
And in that
Expecting myself to be more
Lost in impossible expectations
Forgiving all but myself
My attention drifts
Thoughts ramble aimlessly
Until I collide with something
My eyes do not open
Taking in the sensations
Rough surfaces
Sliding and wrapping
Cool
Moving across me
Eyes slowly open
The snake like form
Draped around me
Looming over me
Ice cold
Panic begins to rise
Eyes meet
Locking
Soothing
Quieting
Calming
Warming
Ice cold
Yet burning
Deep within myself
Heat struggles
Seeking the surface
To merge with
The coolness
Wrapped around me
My skin tingling
Frost forming
As contact is made
Skin turning to ice
The heat grows
Pulsing through my veins
Mysterious
Frightening
Heat confined in flesh walls
Against the defining chill
I struggle with myself
Breathing labored
I gasp
Turning my head up
Seeking something breathable
And I see him
Looming above me
His frosty calm smile
As he opens his mouth
Revealing his fangs to me
Pure desire dripping from them
Onto my upturned face
Cracking my skin
The coolness flows into me
Relieving the heat a moment
Only to have it flare again
Consuming me
Leaving me wanting more
I cry out
Struggle against
The body that binds me
Against the coolness
Against my own heat
Yet unable
NO unwilling to move
I look up
At his closed mouth
Unable to speak my need
Knowing
If but one of those fangs
Would pierce my soul
I should be lost forever
And never know it
I watch as he smiles again
My mouth opens
As I wait for the precious liquid
The poison I long for
To drip into me
Filling me
Fulfilling me
I watch as it gathers
Tempting me
Teasing
Knowing how cold it shall be
How it will soothe me
Nothing else will quench the heat
That seems to consume me
As the drop finally falls
As it hits my tongue
I cry out
The sharp pain
As he brings the tip of his tail
Snapping it against my ass
Time and again
Forcing the heat up
Rushing it onward
Meeting the ice cool relief
My body igniting
Too soon the venom is gone
The heat still rising
I search for his face
For the venom he holds
He smiles mouth closed
His tail slides between my legs
My heat building
To points I can not withstand
Only his coolness
Wrapped tightly around
Prevents me
From bursting into flame
From ceasing to exist
Forever

        and I forget
        the coolness
        in which I once existed . . .