First Time

Running
giggling
hand in hand
over tree roots like trip wires
into the woods

we find the place
(though we'd forgotten about mosquitos)
and spread our blanket

You look at me
and I back at you

"So, this is it, huh? What do we do first?"

I shrug my shoulders and slip my sundress
to the ground

"Your turn"

Your belt is loosened
pants unzipped
sliding off past your ankles

"Do we...kiss first?"

"There are a lot of mosquitos."

We move together
I lie on my back
and you put your knees down into the crook of mine
line it up
press it in

A moment passes
recognition of what happened
and what didn't

you start to move your hips
thrusting into me

I look at the green leaves above me
bouncing on the breeze
tried not to think of the mosquitos
as you continue to experiment
with pace and pressure

I'm not there
You're not really either
We spend our lives creating a construct for what sex is
and we're both adjusting our constructs with the reality
I focus on what's around me
You focus on what feels good

"Are you almost um ready because there really are a lot of mosquitoes."

"That didn't help."

I remain silent
biting my lip
I think about how crickets chirp the temperature
I wonder what the temperature is

"Would you be willing to uh...move a little bit?"

I begin matching your thrusts
something feels good
I focus on that
these feelings
sex feelings

your pace quickens
eyes squinted shut
you thrust deeply
and groan on top of me

our eyes meet
as you give me a sheepish grin

Clothes quickly cover skin
keep mosquitoes away
blanket quickly folded
and we run
hand in hand
giggling
to the car.

"We'll do it better next time."

"Yes."