Five gay teens

Five gay teens were sitting in the bleachers,
after the practice, shooting the breeze,
comparing notes about their teachers,
exchanging wonderful tales of sleaze.
Towards the future their thoughts then turned:
How would each pass the rest of his life?
This was a question that really burned
and cut to their hearts like a very keen knife.

I'm leaving this town as soon as I can,
said the first. I'll be right out of this place
I'll disappear into the city, man.
I'm determined to live at a rollicking pace.
I'll get a job on the waterfront.
The physical work will keep me in trim,
and after hours I'll be on the hunt.
I'm gonna live life to the very brim,
dancing at night and finding men,
cruising the hot Hispanic boys,
with a place of my own where I can take them,
filled with pictures and filled with toys.
If I die by the time I'm thirty-one,
well, it really doesn't matter that much at all!
I'll pass on knowing I had lots of fun
and that during my twenties I had a ball.

I'm gonna sign up in the merchant navy,
said the second. I wanna see foreign ports.
Away from home I can savour the gravy
without anyone to disapprove my sports.

I'm gonna go find that wilderness place,
said the third. The one I read about,
where a group of guys who've dropped out of the race
have carved out a life that's really stout.
They don't have to worry about earning money
there's lots of meat for them to shoot.
They live on roots and herbs and honey,
from the trees they pick the nuts and fruit.
And every day there's great group action,
plenty of guys who're hot and willing.
I'm guaranteed complete satisfaction.
I'm gonna have a time that's completely thrilling.

I'm gonna stay here and find a wife,
said the fourth. His buddies were really shocked.
What's wrong with you? Get yourself a life!
You're out of your skull, the other four mocked.
No, I think I have to. It's the right thing to do,
get a job, get a house, and raise some kids.
You four guys ought to do that too.
Some tears oozed from his heavy eyelids.

You're crazy, said one. It'll drive you mad.
You can't just get married if you're not in love.
He's right, said another. That'll really be bad.
You'd be deceiving her, he said, giving him a shove.
And how will you manage your nightly chore?
Will you think of boys while you're at it in bed?
Your life will turn into such a bore.
In not much time you'll wish you were dead.
You'll be stuck at home, listening to her bitching,
hearing all about her aches and pains.
And for some real action you'll always be itching.
Think about it, dude. Please, use your brains.

I have thought about it. I've thought it all through.
An arrangement I'll make, and she will agree.
On two nights a week I'll hook up with you,
and then we can have a wonderful spree.
I'll tell her we're having a men's night out,
going ten pin bowling or playing poker.
I'll give her some chocolates so she doesn't pout.
Or maybe I'll just say I'm meeting my broker.

But we won't be here, said one of the others.
I'll be in the city, and he'll be on his ship.
And he'll be in the wilderness living with his brothers.
So who will you meet, when you give her the slip?

I was hoping, said the fifth, that we'd all stay together
in a cool little commune on the other side of town.
I'm wanting to try out some stuff with leather.
But now I hear your plans ... he began to frown.
We could have had a good time... really great!
We'd kit the place out with the stuff we need.
We'd stockpile a whole lot of Millers in a crate,
in the backyard we could grow some weed.
No one to bother us. The neighbours can't look in.
We'd make sure it was really secure and tight.
We'd soundproof the place so they couldn't hear the din.
Just think of it! Five-a-side action every night!

It was getting quite late and growing dark.
The group had gone silent. They got up to leave.
Life, it now seemed, was not such a lark!
Slowly homewards their way they weaved.