For V., "I Love You Laughingly."

Remember sitting at the drive-in?
Remember toe prints on my windshield?
I remember the heat
August made us sweat
on the hood of my car.
You said you'd get hot dogs, if only
I bought the soda.
We laughed at the movies
even when things weren't funny
because silence sat between us.

Remember the concert?
Remember you beating up that girl?
I remember the throat I elbowed,
a boy that called you a goth dyke,
while you beat up his girlfriend.
You said you had band-aids.
I had the stitch kit.
We laughed at your sloppy sewing,
my sloppy fighting,
because we won.

Remember being inseperable?
Remember being called a team?
I remember being glued to your side
with your arm around my waist
red, red hair just above my shoulder.
We said we'd live together forever,
Roommates, friends. Almost siblings.
We laughed at guests,
from under piles of dirty laundry
Because it was silly.

Remember when I saw you naked, that time?
Remember how much you blushed?
I remember taking my pants off immediately
so you wouldn't feel like the only one,
we went naked all the time, afterwards.
You said it didn't matter.
I agreed, secretly thinking you beautiful.
We laughed and made shadow puppets
against the blinds
with various body parts.

Remember when I found out you cleaned in lingerie?
Remember how you said you'd kill me if I told?
I remember you hitting me with a potscrubber for
saying, "Just as long as I can jerk off..."
I made you a martini for an apology,
bought a G-string just to clean the tub.
You always rolled your eyes.
We laughed and settled in,
domestic and crazy,
happy with each other.

Remember how you chased off all my girlfriends?
Remember how I chased off all yours?
I remember the one you threatened with a knife,
because she wouldn't leave me alone.
I ran one off by hanging my nuts
out the fly of my boxers,
every time I saw her,
always pretending to an accident
We always laughed, after,
went to get chinese take-out.

Remember it was only me that made you smile?
Remember talking for hours on the roof?
I remember you said I understood,
said too bad about my cock.
I shrugged and ruffled your hair,
said it was ok.
You said I could get an operation.
We laughed because fate's funny,
snuggled together in punk t-shirts,
slept in the open air.

Remember when I kissed you?
Remember how wide your eyes got?
I remember how you held my jaw
in the cup of your palm,
said, "This isn't a movie, honey."
I shrugged and planted another one
in what I hoped was fertile soil.
You laughed and called me crazy,
with that twinkle in your blue eyes,
because I never give up hope.

Remember the look on my face?
Remember I didn't understand, after all?
I remember how hot my cheeks were
when you pushed me away,
said you didn't like boys.
You touched my face
I stared at your striped knee-socks.
We laughed at how dumb we were,
but I didn't think it was funny.
I loved you, not your girly-bits.

Remember when I called you?
Remember how drunk I was?
I remember I told you not to go
I didn't want you to move.
You left anyway,
said you had to.
I said you might be right.
We laughed because we were crying
and didn't know why.
You drove away and I bought more beer.

Do you remember running into me?
I remember how good it felt to hold you.
I remember the gaps in my life
filling up for a few minutes
when you looked up from under my arm.
I said I missed you.
You said you missed me.
We laughed at all the time between.
Even though I bawled for days,
I remember letting you go.