Forever Lost

I am lost on a sea; a sea of sorrow and pain by my own doing.
There is no land or end in sight.
Is there an end to the pain I feel inside?
I know not.
I hurt so much that I just want it all to end,
Yet I cannot.
They tell me there is too much to live for; there is happiness to be found;
Where? I find it, then I lose it yet again.
Is there an end to my pain? Is there an end to my suffering?
Is there a way to end the pain without ending it all?
I know not.
I live with the pain, I live with the joy, I live with the sorrow.
Sometimes they all balance, sometimes they do not…
Is there an end to the pain and sorrow?
I know not.
Where is the end of the rainbow they tell me is there?
Why can I not find it?
Why can I not find the complete happiness that they tell me I deserve?
I know not.