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Click hereTo the Free Pillar of the Universe:
You are one of many, love, but the greatest of them all
You’re also the last, if I can help it; these brick walls have to fall
You can see what I cannot, the gifts I can’t perceive
You see value and worth in me; in me you do believe
My pain you know, somehow, someway, you see it in my eyes
You see the darkness of my soul, the grayness of my skies
You know it because it rests in you, as this abyss rests in me
You feel for me when I cannot; your love will set me free
When all is lost, and darkness comes, and I cannot see the light
You come to me, and ease my mind, you settle all my fright
Nothing material will come of us, nothing can, you see
Cause I live here, and you live there, and apart we must be
But, for now, we are together, if in thought alone
You comfort me from these dark dreams, in your arms I feel home
I know you hurt, just as I, and I wish I could take it away
Know I believe in you, as you do in me, I have hope for you every day
My Angel of Death, you cradle me against your mighty breast
I will not fail you, or let your faith be in vain or jest
great read, I have enjoyed
all your poems today and
look forward to reading more.
Thank you.
~ J
A lot of this is pure cliche, and in a couplet rhyming scheme it just falls flat. I think you could have pared the verbage down by quite a lot and told the same story in a much more effective manner.
The intent is there, but the execution isn't there.
Ironic that such a dark poem could shed so much hope and light. Beautiful words, wonderful voice, you are such a pleasure to read. Thanks, D, for sharing these! Kiss. ~Minx