Friends to lovers and back again

18 months ago I stood before you, and you let me in.
Into your friendship, but not to within.
We stayed friends for forever, and were happy that way.
And occasionally fell asleep, together, at the end of the day.

We Held each other, when our others wouldn’t
Cried with each other, when our others couldn’t
Cared and consoled, when things weren’t going right,
We’re there on call for each other, any time day or night.

Ideal friends, there when needed, hidden when not.
With occasional real closeness, with no ulterior plot.
So why didn’t it develop, into more than friends,
Because we supported each other, and held all the loose ends.

There are things you know about me, I will always conceal.
There’s so much I know about you I will never reveal.
That’s what makes us special, the best friend there could be.
Holding secrets for each other, that no one else will ever see.

Perhaps that’s why we knew, we’d be ideal to be more.
We know each other’s damage, both know the score.
Know all the pitfalls that had occurred in our past,
Skip round them together, put them out of the way at last.

So we developed, in to more, than just being mates,
Decided to go out and have fun, and really call them dates.
You introduced me to your family, and we all got along,
Made a little mission for a holiday, was that so wrong?

But it seems now the texts, that were comforting to each other,
And the supportive time, slightly different, we spend with each other,
Is a little time, to much time, claustrophobic you say.
And you don’t want to be in contact each and every day.

Thursday we were making plans, holidays, sunny and drinks long,
Tonight when I got your note, all of that has now gone,
No longer boyfriend and girlfriend, ‘just friends’ you say,
It’s a crippling message, and my legs and mind gave way.

So will we return to friends, and stay purposely that way,
Meeting occasionally, to talk away the day.
Will it go back to being honest, when we talk like Sister a brother?
Cos you told truth when we were friends, but lied when we were lovers.

But that doesn’t matter anymore; I just hope you’re OK.
You know if it were another, I’d be telling you all about it today.
But loosing the friendship, where we can each bear our sole,
Would leave in my life, an unimaginable hole.

I can’t talk to others about it much, because they are too near,
About how much I feel for you, and how I hold you so dear.
I’ll post this poem, not push it through the door,
I’m not your stalker, I care and much more.

Because being lovers, was so wonderful to me,
But being friends was better; I’d just like you to see,
That the key ring you gave me, says what I’m trying to say,
But I’ll leave you to yourself, and let you find the day.

I don’t want to loose you; you’re my very special friend.
And no matter what happens, I’ll always be at the end,
Of a phone call, or a letter, or a walk down the street.
So use your fingers to dial, pen and paper, or even your feet.

You know where I am, if you need to cry like I am now.
You know all my reasonings – the when, why, and how,
I miss speaking to you; I miss the friendship we had,
I miss the friend that would tell me, her life good or bad.