From a lovely T friend

as i watch the dawn of this day
i see it in a different way.
with eyes i haven't used in
five very long years

for five long years i have
ignored it
with its beauty,the promises
and hope that it brings anew.

for five long years,
i have denied its warmth
denied its power
indeed, i ran from all
of the truth that the sun
holds and represents

i don't need to tell why
you already know this.

the walls i built
that became a prison

and then a tomb

the armor i forged
that became a coffin

the memories
that became nightmare
the voices that haunted me

all of these are loosing
their power over me

losing their hold on my sanity
allowing me to return to the land of the living

again, i need not tell you why.
but i would like to
i want to
but i made a vow to you

a vow that holds back words
that are in my mind
words that i imply in everything
i tell you
words that i feel that you already know
words that you feel as strongly as i do
but they are held back by the vow

a vow that only you can release me from
a vow that i dare not break

i can keep this vow if it's you wish for me to
but i fear it will limit how i can express myself

so i ask you, please. release me from it
allow me to speak what you know i want to say
to you.

let me open and walk through one of the final doors
between us

let me continue to take your breath away
and draw that much closer to you
free my from the vow

free my tongue, my hands, my words
free me from the vow

(This was a gift to me from a lovely T-girl) :-)