Gentility

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A poem after sanishen's "Gentle Man"
93 words
4.33
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Tzara
Tzara
32 Followers

After sanishen's "Gentle Man"

I strive to be a man who's gentle
but also, when it's needed, firm.
One caring, but not sentimental,
someone who listens and will learn

the ins and outs of your persona,
like where you lived in Arizona,
your favorite colors, songs, and foods,
your somber and your happy moods—

and, yes, I'll want to know your body,
but carefully, when you are sure
my touch is sanctified and pure
enough it's normal and not oddly

grasping at you. But I'm Man:
Beware! I'll bed you if I can.

Tzara
Tzara
32 Followers
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5 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
.

the fuck?

Senna JawaSenna Jawaover 6 years ago
typos and similar

I'd correct my typos, etc., but I don't see any EDIT option. I could post my comment, in a corrected version, again, then I could remove the present version (I saved it to my disk) but is it worth the effort?

Senna JawaSenna Jawaover 6 years ago
The main feature, etc.

This text "Gentility" is a monolog by a man (the lyrical subject) to a woman.

Before I'll address the main thesis, let me mention that word "Gentility" hardly ever should belong to a poem, and even less so to a title. This ending, as in words: accountability, probability, portability, ... is already poetically boring, too cheaply scientific, not to mention its superficiality.

Now, I'll present the main psychological feature of the given text. It may make or break a poem. Some such poems are fantastic (not many; e.g. one by Julian Tuwim), and many are poor (well, what's new?). There is a spectrum from one end to another, with its mass center near the bottom.

Here is the feature: the man (the lyrical subject describes himself to the woman but he is not like he describes himself:

near the end of the text the man says (pat attention to the upper case "Man"):

****** [...] But I am a Man,

****** "Beware!" I'll bed you if I can.

This statement is already self-contradictory. Clearly, this lyrical subject is rather a jerk than a "Man". The above quoted man's statement also contradicts his previous statement (PLEASE, read the previous stanza, i.e. stanza 3, see the CONTRADICTION).

The still previous stanza (stanza 2) is pretty meaningless, not convincing or specific at all (simply vague)l. This time I am not writing strictly about the psychology of the man but about the poem itself. This is a weak stanza.

The psychological portret starts with the very first of the poem: "I strive". The man claims that he is a Real Man but he doesn't IS, instead he STRIVES. His monolog reeks of insincerity.

Thus, the whole thing is psychologically interesting (it's not pleasant, it's not aesthetic, but nevertheless interesting for a reader--not necessarily, when you deal with someone like our lyrical subject).

Now, the big question: how is the given text using the presented duality? For instance, there is an incredibly wonderful poem by Julian Tuwim, where the reader feels the genteel irony and distance plus enjoys wonderful language in more than one dimension.

In the case of "Gentility", I don't feel any irony nor distance, the text is simply boring and unpleasant, void of any poetry.

***********

Perhaps, I could write more if requested; or possibly I have written more than expected or desired.

BVMLoverBVMLoverover 6 years ago

Very nice writing!

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