Ghost of a Mother

You and daddy robbed me of my childhood
You were the source of so much pain
But when the government took us from you
I still cried and begged for you
I saw you alive once more
Thinking you had come back for us
But instead with cruel words and one last bruise across my jaw
You told us you never wanted to be our mom anyways
Years went by and the ghost of memories you forced upon me haunted me in the worst ways
But the day they said you killed yourself
I broke down into nothingness, sobbing from the depths of my soul until I passed out from exhaustion
But at your funeral you felt so warm, you looked like you were just asleep
And I believed you were alive, with all if my idiot heart
Stupid I know but that's what aching hearts do
So when today the proof finally came
And it proved that you were really and forever gone
And this wasn't just another cruel stab in my heart
It felt like I lost you all over again
But this is it
You can't keep hurting me
Breaking me
Sending me into a downward spiral of grief and traumatic memories
I can't keep losing you
When you are already gone
You were always just a ghost of a mother anyways
That's what you'll remain