Gone

and here, and here, and here,
 on the cusp of a new year.
 look back, look forward
 cry for both and smile the same

 you're not gone down yet,
 not yet, though all bets were to the contrary
 you've dodged bullets and knives,
 leaned over the hood of a car at 100 per
 'round that big curve on Ventura freeway,
 made it to Norwalk in fifteen flat,
 cut the ignition, coasted in, no sound,
 just the chain running 'round the sprockets,
 no trouble waits when you get there,
 no bangers, no assholes found,
 just a message from a surprised face
 as you slipped the lock, peeked in,
 ready for anything,
 he's gone down and left you
 in charge

 and here, and here, and here,
 on the cusp of a new year,
 where I'd give anything
 for the guns and knives and suicide rides
 that should have sent me down,
 if I was just a little luckier,
 a little slower,
 I find I'm
 at peace.