- Erotic Poetry
- Goodbye
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
With a heavy heart,
I pulled out the battered case.
Everyone has said it's time to make a fresh start...
But is that truly a future I can face?
With trembling fingers, I packed
The recent painful memories were what
I first stacked.
From those, oblivion is what I sought.
This odd time capsule
Of memories and feelings
A veritable pool
Of things that now sent me reeling.
The first time you were Daddy I called,
I packed that away in the case so worn
The tenderness, the love you proclaimed, the treacherous feelings all,
Would be in this time capsule forever isolated and forlorn.
For I will never again pull these memories out
The first "I love you" to the last "ni ni";
I will never discover what the truth was really about
Never again will you hear me purr and sigh.
You made your choice
I don't understand it.
And now I dash away tears from eyes too moist
And a lip that can no longer be terminally bit.
I piled in my innocence
Knowing the luggage was getting too full
And our first conversation of banter and nonsense,
A riding crop and gifs to make your cock receive a hand pull.
With the first memory to be packed away last,
I slam the case closed.
Oddly enough my love no longer bursts
From my heart as away from it all I rose.
Suddenly freed, the collar falling down from me
I consider adding it to the unhealthy baggage
Yet, with a goodbye I flee
The case, the collar, with a thought to a mournful adage.
- COMMENTS
chixjinxbdsmalmost 7 years agoI am reading this after reading Dom's best friend ch04. This is so heartbreaking. I have to go back to reading Dom's bf to feel better again.
Pleasurewhoreabout 7 years agoWhile I agree that this is not what I would normally think of as erotic, I think it has it's place among the collected chotskies of erotica,
I find it heartbreaking and heartwarming as well, providing a glimpse of the pain but also the pleasure before the loss. I find myself refusing to believe after what precedes it that 'love no longer bursts' but perhaps that is the great catharsis of packing away such things. You have a wonderful way with words.
greenmountaineeralmost 8 years agoThis is a wonderful poem. Take my "yes but" or two as merely suggestions to think about.
The first line I thought was weak. "Heavy heart" is a well worn phrase. In order to maintain the rhyme scheme, consider replacing" heavy" with several words to convey the same meaning.
Lines 5-8 are outstanding. I would have set them apart as a stanza to highlight them more, but that may be a matter of style. The lines are compelling.
"Of things" is too abstract. I need an image there; an opportunity missed IMO.
I don't know what you mean by "terminally bit." It felt like "terminally" was put there to enhance the line's sonics. If so, another adverb with four beats to it reinforcing the narrrative preceding it might have been better.
The case and collar are great images tou worked deftly into the poem.
greenmountaineeralmost 8 years agoThis is smart, painful poetry, and I don't mean BDSM.
I see a few flies in the ointment from my perspective, but I want to read it again to be sure. I'll post and comment for feedback if so. However, I really liked this as is.
P.S.
I don't think I would have labelled this as "erotic."
