- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Goodbye my Friend
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I dreamed of you last night,
of times and us
those years back then.
Friends, just friends.
You didn't mess with married women,
you said, although the spark
between us was strong.
I heard you'd gone,
a little bit of my heart
always yours, broke.
- COMMENTS
buttersabout 13 years agohearts are strange things, aren't they? made up of so many many pieces once they've first been fractured, and each one able to hurt and break again.
like the sound that helps drive this on. 'broke' is the perfect word to end it on.
i found that, for me, L6 read that wee bit smoother with 'though' instead of 'although'.
greenmountaineerabout 13 years agoWhat worked so well in this short poem for me was the last word after the pause created by the comma. Without that, the poem would have sounded melodramatic to me. With it, it had, I thought, a dramatic sense of finality and despair.
bflagsstabout 13 years agoto make it a nice read for me. oh yeah, good content too.
