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Click hereThis old woman’s body,
With bones and hair
Thinning, with
Stones forming, and
Mind going, still
Pulses with an
Undeniable energy.
A bag of sand,
Punctured at the bottom,
Still retains a few grains
Even when the flow
Grows slow.
Can these few grains of
Life sustain this
Caricature of the
Me I know?
Or should I
Simply
Let them go?
This poem was selected from Lit's archive of over 40,000 poems for inclusion in today's Archival Review.<br>
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I'm sorry to hear of your many health issues. This poem really speaks of ongoing vitality and positive spirit even when the body becomes sluggish.
The rhyme fits in fine with me and the weakness of the
ending fits the condition and question she (or you) have.
I like it as a 'question' poem we ask ourselves as we grow
older.
The beginning stanza is good, then the quality lessens. The rhymes at the end of the second stanza don't particulary work in this piece. The ending needs to be more than a whimper.