Great American New Age Novel

There's a girl named Dawn
Anxiously awaiting to live her dull life on
A topaz island paradise
In the long anticipated Age of Aquarius
While the Millenium has come and gone
Time kept on marching strong
And life on this rock hurtling through space?
Well, it's still no more precarious

Down on your luck?

Wanna make a fast buck?

Just write yourself a New Age book
And you'll make money by the truckload

Sucker born every minute
And if your quick to get in on it
I hear it's quite the racket
Not unlike that Davinci Code

Claims of molestation
By gray space aliens in the night
Came back from the dead
After recruitment by Beings of White Light
Drilled a hole in your head
Increasing oxygen feed to the brain
The genius of trephination
Who'd care if you weren't already insane?

Exploit their pain

Sell them fear

They are their own worst enemies
And your best salesman
Especially when you tell them

The End is near

There's a man named Paul who had a hot date
Waited for Jesus to call on him till the hour grew late
Wishing to be swept off his feet
Carried away into the clouds of the Ever Loving Rapture
So what went wrong?
Life as usual kept rolling on
Must have been a gaping hole within
The Lord's Metaphysical Net of Soul Capture

So get off your ass
Stop watching reruns of Ugly Betty
You'll kick yourself
For not having not thought of it already
Get hard at work on that Great American New Age Novel
And in no time flat
They'll be on their knees praying
If not groveling
Most importantly of all
Paying you for nothing

Thanks for nothing