- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Green Girl Gone
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Click hereGreen Girl Gone
She stood there
with green girl thoughts
in the height of the sun
Gaia to all she observed
Plump geese from the pond
waddled closer
nibbling grass from the meadow
freely around her feet
But summer's heat
like the fattened geese
flew south
when she fled our house.
Now the grass is brown
like my bleak thoughts
on the cold autumn knoll
of my empty years
- COMMENTS
lorencinoover 16 years agoUnderstand that this personal response may very well be quite eccentric.
The imagery portrayed with few words is vivid. It is as though there are no unnecessary words to interfere with the evocation of the summer. However I got stuck with the rhythm in parts, e.g., the line "like my bleak thoughts" needed one more syllable to land on, based on the rhythm your previous lines had set up in my head. I'm struck by how effectively you speak of powerful emotions with a few mundane images.
WickedEveover 16 years agoGreen Girl Gone/She stood there/with green girl thoughts/in the height of the sun
