Handy Man

I heard my 'Bull Shit Bulb' shine bright
when it was being sounded
that the day was actually
the same as the night!

ill-relative to solar panels ...

which I installed
with my step'em up tool (ladder)
I measured precisely
with my 'inch teller' (tape-measure)

The male and female 'couplings'
were being 'screwed' together with
'lube-glide' and glue
Inserted, coupled and 'fuck it'

Dick wanted to use his
'little torpedo' (level)
he's fickle about being 'plum' (square)
(virgin hole) NEW long hard pcv touched the elbow
and was 'four feet shy'

made a 'toe jam' special
got a 'shiner' and had to use my 'punch'
then 'Hammer'd and nail'd' her again
but had a 'hump' along the 'crown'

Jim's all right but
when it gets bright
he doesn't hear so well
so we give him 'ear dicks' (ear plugs)
and 'x-ray' goggles
(they use to be Ray's)

Now Mr. Peter
can brush and stroke (paint)
the panty's off a nun
feather touch 'clits and eaves'
"Charm the knickers off a spinster woman"
I heard said

'Wenches and dollies' were everywhere
the 'CAT' diesel purr'd like a pussy
'jack hammer's' fucking and gotta 'wedged' grin
those 'nipples' were like 'putty' in hand

the 'wet vac' vixen could ...
"suck the feathers off a cock!"
Hell, she could suck a golf ball
through a straw!
No body was allowed to touch her but ole Dave
think he said he was 'mono-sexual'
so we leave him alone, mostly

'Blew the Job' and took a 'quickie' (break)
slapped the 'ass' on a 'whimpie'(sandwich)
licked a slit (beverage cans opening)
'sucked on a dream tit' (ice cream)

then back to prostituting myself out
as a 'Handy Man'