- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Happy Sacrifices
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Click hereSo as my heart beats upside-down,
And we're both colour-blinded,
I slow myself and walk awhile;
The lost and absent minded
Will point and laugh, and have their say;
We're locked in death devices,
So ring-a-rose and strike a pose
For happy sacrifices
And I'm the boy who fell to earth,
To see just how he liked it
And now we're lost and free again,
With both our hearts reminded
Of days together holding hands
Or finding ways around it
Our minds would dance in smoking haze,
And skin would touch, ignited
I sit here searching for my soul,
Who's gone to find another,
My heart and mind can barely move;
Still longing for their lover
Come back to me and light my skies,
We'll play out compromises,
And dance above a burning world
For happy sacrifices.
- COMMENTS
vrosej10about 13 years agoThis shows promise. It needs a ruddy good edit and a cliche enema. The first stanza was excellent, the second not so good.
UnderYourSpellabout 13 years agoYou've done much better with the meter on this one and you have far less clichéd lines. You could try not starting each line with a capital letter just the start of each sentence.
And I'm the boy who fell to earth,
to see just how he liked it
and now we're lost and free again,
with both our hearts reminded
of days together holding hands
