hard to breathe

I saw you last night
through the window of a passing car
your hair was as I remembered
but your smile was bigger

I walk the streets alone
thoughts wandering back to our time
moments of happiness I ignored
but now are cherished in memory

I sit staring at the wall
wishing you would call to me
or come sit beside me
holding my hand in silence

I am exiled even among crowds
for I am without you
a soul adrift and alone
lost and hopeless like a ghost

I remember your scent
the pillow where you lay your head
stays beside me unwashed
and in my fitful sleep I smell you

I listen as I drive along
needing to hear your laugh
or you singing with the radio
and I feel empty in the quiet

I miss you so much
like the better part of me is gone
and the lesser part remains
to torture me for my sins