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Click hereWeary, that pivotal point between fatigue and death
teetering
Push on with gritted teeth,
gritted so hard they may splinter,
Along with my sanity
Hands calloused, hardened like my smile
shins scabbed, bleeding
Ignore things not life threatening
can't stop, but must slow for the flesh is finite
limited
Hour upon indentured hour,
watching the saw dust plume and billow
The drone of the saw punctuated by high pitched screams
As board is separated, devoured by the blade
This is the theme music to my life,
Listening to the shrieking cries of aluminium,
The wounded sounds of rended wood
The high pitched hiss of scored glass,
The dull thunk as the score fractures
Yet all these cries and screams give birth to something else
The end result a satisfied smile at hard work rewarded
Tired eyes revel in creation
All the cries and screams are you! 2 starz
There is true value in all these small details you've put in the poem, Tod. It isn't by chance that others have mentioned that this "feels real" — you've mixed description and subtle metaphor. I kinda agree with Angeline, but would make it more general, that you could perhaps trim a bit to get a more focused / condensed piece. And it is a very good poem, as it is.
Thank you for the comment 1201 made me take a second look at my wording structures.
teetering/ teeth
bleeding
hear the long E, kind of screams at you, doesn't it, (what you want in context)
not sure about the ing sound
5ed btw